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Ask v. Guess: Managing expectations (especially around the holidays!)

“People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating.” (Frank Sonnenberg) Asking and guessing My 23-year-old daughter explained the concept of “Ask v. Guess Culture” to me the other day. Apparently it’s been “a thing” for a while, but I missed it. The idea is that some people come from “Ask Cultures,” meaning that […]

Lessons from Dr. King

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. ” (The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) It is so easy to lose hope, especially when the pressures in our lives seem to be chronic and endless. I encourage you to find hope in whatever strange place she might be found. Dr. […]


Belonging is an essential human need. Euro-centric culture tends to value individualism over the collective. That creates structures and communities that lack cohesion and people who feel isolated and many times do not have what they need to thrive. We need to belong. We need the village. Many of us come from families that lack […]