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Surviving in Captivity, Part 3: Expectations: The What and the How, and the XYZ Formula

“Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” (Anne LaMott) But I thought… You are holed up with your family following all of the COVID containment instructions and trying to make the best of it.  For a while, things seem to be going ok.  You’re finding a rhythm as a household, adjusting to a “new normal” and […]

Surviving in Captivity: Fact Checking, Assumptions and “You and Me Against the Problem”

“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.”  Khalil Gibran  “Words are the source of misunderstandings.”   Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince The crucible of captivity In these days where we are together with our household members more and more in our attempts to control […]

Surviving in Captivity: Living well with others while practicing “social distancing”

Getting Off of Your Last Nerve “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: If there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― Carl Gustav Jung Sometimes the chemical combustion of two personalities makes something wonderful. Sometimes it makes something volatile. And sometimes… it can do both. The consequent transformation […]

Relationships 101, Part 8: The What and the How

I’ve been working with couples and families for almost 20 years as therapist. One thing that has become abundantly clear that is that when people are in conflict, what they need the other person to understand is incredibly important. How we communicate that truth can work directly against our goal of being understood. In my […]