"When chaos surrounds us, 'Andante' is an act of rebellion."
Andante
The term “Andante” is a musical tempo. An Andante is a moderately slow, gentle pace. If you click here and listen to the beginning of Carl von Weber’s "Andante e Rondo" you can hear what I mean. Notice how it just keeps rolling on, with a lilt here and lilt there? That’s Andante.
14 years ago, a different kind of Andante came into my life in the form of floofy little rescued “accidental” Lhasapoo. Since my daughter and I are both musicians we wanted to give him a musical name. We decided on Andante, and called him Dante for short. He has always just kept rolling on with a little lilt step here and there. That’s our Dante.
Not So Andante
Dante has seen my family and my clients through an amazing amount of upheaval. By temperament, he strongly prefers that things be calm, consistent and predictable. In 14 years, “Mr. Consistency Please” has been with us through so much:
We’ve moved four times in his 14 years.
He gained a full time Daddy.
He gained that Daddy’s son, but only 4 days a week.
He begrudgingly gained their Australian Cattle Dog.
He gained a radically different level of energy, sound and moving parts than what he was used to.
He was with us when we lost the Australian Cattle Dog.
He witnessed his girl coming and going and going and coming to and from college.
He worked in three different offices. (He has always been part of my therapy practice,)
He was with us as we got more and more stressed over the things the TV people say.
His girl came home from college! (YAY!)
But then none of the humans went anywhere for two years, which would have been perfectly fantastic if all of the humans everywhere weren’t emitting overwhelming stress pheromones 24/7. (He could happily tend to a stressed client or two or even three at a time, but this was ridiculous!)
Then we started seeing most of the clients exclusively in that boring silver box on the desk where he can’t usher them into the room, toss them toys, or lay at their feet or remind them of what’s good
And then he acquired a Standard Poodle sister puppy who got huge fast and spent two years boinging all over the place, not seeming to get the Keep Calm, Andante On message for the longest time,
Then he tore up his knee and had knee surgery. He could no longer run or jump off of ridiculously high things, or chase squeak toys, or dance in circles for treats, or take his long walks where he helps Mamí get her brain back in the middle of the day, or or or or or or…
Then his thoughtless humans moved into a house with stairs all over the place! (His poor knee.)
Then his girl moved out on her own. (How dare she!)
And then, they got another freaking boingy Standard Poodle puppy.
As if that weren’t enough, now the humans are working hard at not to get all upset by what the TV people say, AGAIN.
So when I tell you, “Keep Calm, Andante On?” This little boi knows what he’s talking about.
Henry
One of the other gifts Dante has brought me is an incredible dedication to his Life Mission, (or Henry, as I called it in a previous blog.) Long before I understood it, Dante was fiercely faithful in:
Guarding the temple (whether it was our apartment, house, patio or office,)
Herding all of the beings together, because Together Together is much better than apart, and
Reminding the humans to stop, notice and appreciate what’s good.
They say that if you don’t give a Lhasa Apso a purpose, they will create a job for themselves. Their tenacity and fidelity to their jobs is unparalleled. Dante definitely has those genes. He puts the “no matter what” in No Matter What.
No Thank Yous
As we face this next round of political tumult, I am doing my best to internalize the wisdom Dante has given me for the last 14 years. Unfortunately, it appears that I will be doing it without him physically present.
After he had his surgery and it became clear that he was not going to be able to do most of the things he values, I shifted to trying to offer him “Thank You Years.” I told him it was ok to rest; That he doesn’t have to do anything in order to be loved. We adore him and always will. I tried to tell him that he’s earned his rest.
Dante was not having it. He doesn’t want to be thanked. He wants to do his job.
Saying Good Bye
Over the years, Dante has developed several chronic conditions that will not be getting better. He still has good moments, but doesn’t have whole good days. After consulting with way too many online quality of life scales, his girl and the rest of the family, my friends, and his vet, it’s clear to me that it’s time to let him go.
Thanks to an incredibly gracious couple who has known and been loved by Dante almost as long as we have, we will be able to give him a gentle, love-filled good bye at home through a veterinary practice called Peaceful Passage. This is the best “thank you” I can imagine, along with doing my best to live out all of the lessons Dante taught me.
Enduring Connections
One of Jack Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning is “Finding an enduring connection… while embarking on a new life.” Many of you reading this have also known and been loved by Dante. (He’s been known to sway some non-dog people to love him as well!) I recognize that this isn’t just my loss or my family’s loss. I plan to put together an online memorial video at some point that will have a place for anyone who wants to comment or share a memory, (anonymously, if you’d like.) Please stay tuned for that.
In the meantime, I’d like to invite everyone to honor Dante by endeavoring to:
Guard, (keep peace) in your “temple,”
Look for ways to connect with others,
Stop regularly, notice and appreciate what’s good,
Be fiercely faithful to your Life Mission.
Keep Calm; Andante On!