“In a world that clings to lies that feed hatred and destruction, stand on truths that heal and restore.”
Reductions
I love a good sauce. A wine reduction can be an amazing touch in a savory dish. Reducing lemon and sugar into a lemon curd? Sublime. Reducing melted sugar and cream into caramel can cross your eyes and dot your tee’s.
But reducing humans to something that leaves out key parts of who we are? Utterly unpalatable.
Don’t let anyone reduce you.
Anger and Rage
I think it’s safe to assume that many of us will experience an uptick in both anger and rage in the coming months and years. Please don’t be afraid of these. You can use both of them well.
As mentioned in previous blogs, anger tells us something (that we have control over) needs to change; Rage tells us something needs to heal.
Revenge
Our natural response to both anger and rage is sometimes revenge. Revenge can serve as a type of anesthesia. As attractive as this may be in the moment, revenge reduces us.
If you kill your enemy, you are reduced.
If you behave like your enemy, you are reduced.
You, friend, are not sauce. Do not be reduced by anyone or anything.
Closer to the Bone
Along this same line of thought, if you buy into someone’s reductionist assessment of you, you are reduced.
Something I’ve learned in the last decade — If we carry the daily deluge of vitriol and injustice spewed at us in the electronic sphere? We will be reduced to hostility and simmering, unproductive anger that can make us forget the rest of who we are.
The AND
This taps into AND.
Yes, there are terrible things, terrible ideas and people who behave terribly. There are times when we do have a role in challenging these things. If we are going to have the energy, the wherewithal, the stamina to play our part in making change, we have to be centered, solid and empowered.
A version of ourselves that is reduced down to only the part of us that fights will be none of those things.
Remember Your “Why”
When I work with people in intimate relationships and families, I have them do “Appreciations.” In this exercise, each person offers simple statements pointing out the things they appreciate about others in the relationship constellation. That person then reflects back to the “sender” what that person has appreciated. They do not without comment, backhand or spin. Their job is to take the information about themselves in.
One of the positive benefits of this exercise is that all parties are invited to remember what it is they are fighting for.
And so it is in the culture at large; Yes! Fight for justice. Fight for equity. Fight for a better life for all. And, as you are doing all of that, remember what you’re fighting for.
Remember the good that exists. Remember your hope. Reground yourself in what’s beautiful, poignant, touching. Remember, viscerally, what you’re fighting for.
If we are to move toward positive change in our communities and culture, we need you at full strength. Do not allow anyone or anything reduce you.